Incubus
by Alley Cat Sunflower
Summary: One of three New Years' stories I'm doing for my three top pairings; this is third place. Jade rings in the new year and, as she falls asleep, is promptly accosted by her patron troll. I don't know how to fluff, but this is as close as I can get. T for various things, but surprisingly enough not swearing. I don't own the art or Homestuck!


**((The third of my OTPs, written in honor of the new year! Next will come the second and first. All of them take place on the New Year's Eve/Day before their journey ends.))**

Stumbling into bed with the vague knowledge that she would have a terrible hangover in the morning didn't ruin the moment for Jade as she giggled a little as thanks to an equally unsteady John, who had been supporting her on her way up the stairs in her house. Her ectobiological sibling looked a little queasy as he bid her good night and rushed back out the door abruptly, and she thought hazily that he might have fallen down the staircase as she heard several _thud_s in quick succession.

But Jade forgot all about his welfare as her body protested weakly that it could not summon the energy to go help him up anyway, and, feebly pulling the covers up over her almost-bare body, she sank into the twilight of half-wakefulness mere moments later.

She was fully aware of time's slow passage, though could not think why it mattered. Jade's mind, thick and fuzzy and warm with drink, floated somewhere in a soft, comfortable abyss, pertaining not to any dream bubbles nor to her physical location, but seemingly to her own imagination. If she had not been too inebriated to form coherent thoughts, Jade would have wondered if this was part of her godtier abilities; after all, not _all _of them were dependent on the Green Sun's proximity.

A weight descended gradually onto her abdomen and Jade opened her eyes, wincing a little despite the dimness of wherever she was. She tried to sit up, but a long-nailed hand forced her gently back down again, lifting a finger to its owner's lips a moment later—a coy, sharp-toothed smile followed.

Jade blinked blearily, trying to discern who was sitting on her so she could bleat out a few slurred, well-chosen curse words taught her by her patron troll.

"Oh, come on," growled a familiar voice from above her; whoever was sitting on her was leaning over her, face only inches from her own. She blinked once more, hard, and its features swam into view, lit by some invisible lamp floating next to her.

"Karkat!" gasped Jade, and her head throbbed uncomfortably. She tried to push him off, but the most he would do was sit back up again smirkingly. The effort weakened her already exhausted body, and she fell back again glaringly. Karkat idly extended a hand and tickled her behind the ears.

Jade growled deep in her throat, another trick she had learned from the canine part of her. "What do you want?" she tried to say, but the words got replaced by a yip. If Karkat didn't get off her real soon, she was about to serve him his own stupid little (_adorable_, she added grudgingly) nubby horns on a platter.

Karkat seemed to understand the meaning behind the yip before she could try to reprimand him again. "Oh, nothing much," he smiled, and Jade reflected—almost relaxing—how much nicer he looked with a smile on his face than she had always imagined with his all-caps text. Maybe if he smiled a little more often, they could actually be friends. "Just—you."

Frowning, Jade sat up quickly, trying again to dislodge Karkat, this time by a more direct shove to the chest. Her muscles seemed to be taking the night off, which concerned Jade, but the more alarming information she gleaned from this push was more to the effect of _Karkat isn't wearing a shirt!_

"Me?" she asked, swallowing her newfound nausea—brought on by sitting up so abruptly, no doubt—with difficulty. "Can you please get off? I think… I think I'm going to be sick." She met Karkat's eyes, wondering at how red his irises were compared to the sea of black they had been the last time she had seen him, almost three years ago at this point.

Jade relished the ill-concealed, brief look of disgust on Karkat's face before he covered it with a purr and asked, brushing Jade's cheek gently with his fingernails and prompting an involuntary shudder, "Am I really so unattractive?"

"No—" gasped Jade, pushing his hand away tremblingly and trying to explain, "You look fine—no, wait, that's not why—it's just the—" She broke off, giving up. "Get off!"

Karkat made no reply but to lean forward suddenly and kiss her.

Jade's mouth automatically reciprocated for a few seconds, though her skills were rusty (as she and Davesprite had broken up almost a year prior) and her tongue was confused from the copious amount of liquor she had ingested. To say the least, Jade was just a little startled—both that he had kissed her and that he too tasted of alcohol. Angrily, she bit him as hard as she dared; Karkat recoiled and vanished, leaving Jade's sleepy mind to wander. _Finally…_

Meanwhile, on a meteor an infinite number of miles away, Karkat sat bolt upright in bed, holding his bloody tongue.

**((Lemme know what you think!**

…**I know Karkat was probably horribly out of character, but I couldn't work any swearing in…))**


End file.
